Hogfather (Terry Pratchett)

It was the night before Hogswatch.

In the Archchancellor’s new bathroom Modo wiped his hands on a piece of rag and looked proudly at his handiwork. Shining porcelain gleamed back at him. Copper and brass shone in the lamplight.

He was a little worried that he hadn’t been able to test everything, but Mr. Ridcully had said, “I’ll test it when I use it,” and Modo never argued with the Gentlemen, as he thought of them. He knew that they all knew a lot more than he knew, and was quite happy knowing this. He didn’t meddle with the fabric of time and space, and they kept out of his greenhouses. The way he saw it, it was a partnership.

He’d been particularly careful to scrub the floors. Mr. Ridcully had been very specific about that.

“Verruca Gnome,” he said to himself, giving a tap a last polish. “What an imagination the Gentlemen do have…”

Far off, unheard by anyone, was a faint little noise, like the ringing of tiny silver bells.

Glingleglingleglingle…

And someone landed abruptly in a snow drift and said, “Bugger!” which is a terrible thing to say as your first word ever.